Wednesday 26 November 2008

The silent treatment

Reached day 8 of my upper brace experience, and overall things have gone well! The initial tooth soreness faded very quickly, to the extent that I was able to go out to dinner the very next night. I did however manage to swallow one of the back brackets whilst scoffing a roast potato, but it wasn't attached to the archwire so not a big deal. Apart from figuring out what's good to eat with this thing on, life has returned to normal rather quickly. I can only hope the rest of my experience is as positive!

However I faced bigger issues at the weekend as I unveiled my brace to the family for the first time. Ma has been opposed to me going through with this from the start, and I managed to keep her from seeing my teeth all through Sunday lunch. When we were alone in the car later I decided it was time to fess up. I took a deep breath and said "There's something about me you havn't noticed". A pause. "Your brace is on?"she asked "I need to have a look at this" and pulled over to the side of the road to have a good look, asking a few questions about the cost, pain etc etc. I commented that my boss has said it looked rather dainty, she said nothing.

A little later we were looking through some photographs I had taken on my camera and came across the closeup shots i'd taken of my teeth the night before my brace went on. Encouraged by how things went in the car earlier, I started talking about how pleased I was to have started this process and how I was looking forward to the my new bite. But before I got any further she shook her head and snapped "No, I don't want to see these or talk about this!". Oh. We changed the subject and the atmosphere quickly returned to normal, but upstairs later on I did find myself getting really upset by her reaction. Refusing to discuss things like this is even worse than shouting as there's no possibility of putting my of the story, and it makes the journey i'm on so much more difficult emotionally. I'm just going to have to keep quiet about the whole subject until she's come to terms with it a bit more, this could be a long time knowing my mother...

Enough of the gloom and doom, now i've got used to the brace it's time I took it out to meet people. Sizzle is desperate to go for cocktails so she can have a good nose, and i'm sure that reactions will be forthcoming after a few beers. Countdown is also beginning for the bottom all metal brace on December 9th!

5 comments:

Katherine (Kate) said...

Wow, I've heard of parents having a hard time with the decision to go this route, but that reaction is quite, um, difficult(?). As I was reading I was getting excited about the direction your discussion was going with her.... No wonder it puts a damper on things for you.

Is there parent guilt attached, do you think, about the fact that your bite is causing you problems? No idea if it plays into your personal story but I have heard others talk about their folks feeling bad that they didn't do more while their child was younger, or for passing on certain genetics, and putting them on the defencive/denial.

Sheesh, I sure hope that this gets easier for you, even if it is baby steps at a time.

Awesome that you're feeling good about the braces (physically) and are getting settled into routine. Had to chuckle at swallowing the bracket, haha! Are you going to look for it later lol?!

Good luck on the 9th :)

stephanie said...

It seems weird to me that your mom is displeased with you getting braces - to fix your teeth! To fix your bite!

Hope the bottom braces go smoothly for you!

Discantus said...

Hi Katherine,

Thanks for your comments. I think she's genuinely scared of the risks - I took her along to an early consultation during which Dr H. went through all the possible things that could go wrong, nerve damage, bad break, etc etc and I think that did it for her. Also think she's a tiny bit sad i'm getting rid of the 'family' jaw, and thinks it looks fine as it is, unfortunately I don't agree!

Katherine (Kate) said...

Crapity-crap...hearing that list freaks ME out a bit...until I put the percentage point with it and read of all the successes out here in blogland. Doctors should list all of the positive outcomes that patients experience and put the opposite percentages with THAT. (eg: 98% have a much improved quality of life and wouldn't hesitate to do it all over again....) Would put things more in perspective I think :)

Will continue to hope that she comes around. I know parental approval & support for these decisions isn't a must....but it sure is nice.

ummul said...

:-)

s m i l e .....!