Get thee behind me invalid!

Just got back from a quick holiday to Iceland to take my mind off things. Before going away I was too busy planning excusions and outings to
think much about surgery, but now there's nothing else to focus on except the BIG DAY. It's all starting to feel very scary! 

Fortunately, yesterday was my latest appt with Mr T. We kicked off with further moulds and measurements, after which he pulled out a device called a facebow, which looked a bit like a scold's bridle, and attached it to my face which he then fiddled round with for a while. Afterwards we sat down and went over The Plan again, and I quizzed him on waking up from surgery. He reassured me that I would be woken very slowly, and that the local anaesthetic injected into my face and painkiller via the IV would ensure that I won't be in any pain when I come round, which is hugely reassuring as i'm terrified of waking up in agony and panic. 

With so little time left all I need to do is stay healthy, but that's easier said than done as pestilential people seem to be popping up everywhere coughing in my direction and fingering all the surfaces around them! One recent bronchitis sufferer in the office (who i've been avoiding like the plague) even came up to my desk, grabbed my new Sigg water bottle (without asking), and began turning it over in his hands! Had to resist the urge to shriek "get your germ-ridden mitts off my stuff!" Once he'd left I promptly legged it to the kitchen to give the bottle a thorough disinfecting.
 
So, next up is Dr H tomorrow. I've heard nasty things about surgical hooks so i'm hoping that it won't be in this appt that he chooses to inflict these evil things upon me - I want to enjoy my final weekend of eating in comfort!

3 weeks 5 days to go...

Met up with an old friend for dinner last week who said she was suprised to see differences in my face already. I was suprised too - didn't think that much had changed apart from a worstening of my underbite! Just goes to show that we probably miss most of the subtle alterations that go on during our time in braces by seeing our reflections day to day. It's good to know they're working their magic even though we don't realise it...

So the countdown reached four weeks last friday, and right on cue my appointment letter arrived from the hospital, asking me to report to reception at the civilised hour of 12.30pm on surgery day. I was expecting some godforsaken 6am appointment, so this is good news.

I'm also coping pretty well with the nerves. Some of the tips i've read about coping with anxiety during this time can be summed up by a certain french philosopher, who said "My life has been full of misfortunes, most of which never happened" - in other words it's all too easy to get wound up imagining all the terrible things that can occur during surgery and recovery, when there's every possibility that they won't actually happen at all, so whats the purpose of worrying for nothing? I'm telling myself this everytime I feel uncertainty creeping up, and this seems to be working so far!

As for more practical matters, i've finally got cracking on my shopping list, picking up a few bits and pieces to make recovery more comfortable. However, the jaw bra and zip n squeeze thingies that I wanted seem unheard of here in the uk, so i'll just have to improvise and rely on whatever the hospital supply me with to eat.

So, next appt with Mr T is on April 12th for further wax-ups. Time to surgery is FLYING by, and with Easter and a quick holiday coming up I'll be on the threshold before I know it!

Getting closer

So...four weeks five days to the big day. I've finally calmed down, and it's time to start on my preparations.

Unfortunately I'll be having to recover in my small flat in central London rather than escaping to mum's place in the country as Dr H and Mr T want to see me every few days after surgery, so it's going to be a rather uncomfortable few weeks for both me and A.

First big decision is where to sleep. There's no room for a recliner in here, and staying in bed with A next to me will probably keep us both awake all night, so I think the living room sofa bed is my only option - next to the kitchen and bathroom for nocturnal requirements, and allowing A to get a good night's sleep so he wait on me properly during the day :)

I'm going to invest in a wedge pillow and new fluffy pillows in order to make the sleeping upright lark a bit more comfortable, as well as a lap tray and lots of napkins. A trip to Marks & Sparks is also in order to pick up new pajamas and trackie bottoms - I imagine i'll be living in these for a least a month, and i've already checked out protein drinks and smoothies that can all be picked up a few days beforehand.

My big focus, however, is entertainment. I think that the best way to deal with the inevitable post-op emotional rollercoaster is to keep myself as distracted as possible, particularly during the first 10 days. So i'm ordering piles of my favourite movies and TV programmes on DVD as well as several large tomes - the final Twilight book has already arrived and i'm itching to get going on it!

I'm also more than a little preoccupied with the thought of my final meal, as I can't possibly go into this without a last food hurrah. Unfortunately my list of favourites is far to long to fit into one meal, so i'll be having a dish every weekend between now and the Big Day. Already on the list is sushi, fish n chips, a great curry and lashings of chocolate in any shape or form.

Appointments-wise I was at Dr H's last Thursday for final photos and Xrays. He'll now meet with Mr T for a final chin wag before they call me in to go over the Plan. So all I can do is wait for the call...

Quick update - OMG I have a date!

Just had an email from Mr T's office saying the surgery will go ahead on 23rd April!I was hoping for date sooner than that, but hey at least it's now there and set in stone.

So i've 7 weeks exactly to prepare for my journey to the Other Side. Doesn't sound long! Think I need a lie down!!

Meeting no 2 with surgeon

Met with Mr T again for a second round of surgery discussions yesterday. He started off by taking all sorts of measurements of my face and teeth, before announcing that I would need a correction of roughly 6mm. This will be achieved by advancing the upper jaw foward 4mm and the lower back by 2mm, it amazes me how such little movement can make such a big difference! He said the upper movement would cause my nose to expand by roughly 1mm each side, and would also cause the end to turn up slightly - I have a narrow nose anyway and so none of this bothers me. He also said that he would be tilting the upper jaw in such a way that would fill out the flat mid-section of my face a little more, and so give my face more of a normal convex shape rather than the concave shape it currently has. Cool! Cheekbones at last :)

In order to illustrate this he pulled up the 3D picture I had taken the other week and compared it with an 'after' shot he'd worked on. To be honest the after shot made me look like the type of lunatic you'd avoid on the street, but he assured me that the 3D simulation was more for illustrative purposes rather than an exact prediction of how I would look (bloody well hope so!)

Finally he said he'd be meeting with Dr H after my next appt with him on the 18th March to finalise the surgery plan, straight after which he'd see me to discuss dates. I'm PRAYING that this means I can have my surgery at the end of the month, so will be doing my best to talk Dr H into giving the go ahead for an early date.

It was great to have such a positive meeting, all the more so as I had my mum with me. She's been quite dubious about the sugery up until now so I hoped that sitting in on this meeting would reassure her. When I asked how she felt afterwards she said "well, I can now see why you're doing it", which is quite a turnaround from someone who never usually changes their mind about anything.

So, onwards to Friday 18th! The other side is on the horizon :)

Meeting no.1 with surgeon

Yesterday was a BIG day - I had an appointment with Mr T. for the first time in almost 2 years, though walking through his consulting rooms again it felt like we'd only just met last week. Where does the time go?

After getting control of my nerves and jelly legs we got down to business, and he started off with bad news - because of my new teeth position he thought it would be best to move the lower jaw as well as the upper, as too much advancement of the upper jaw would throw out my face alignment. Felt a shiver down my spine as soon as he said this - i'd been hoping I could get away with just an upper and genio, but it seems the only option is the full works. He also told me he was worried that tongue thrust could possibly cause a relapse post-op, and so would make allowances for it during surgery by leaving a posterior open bite (which will compensate for any relapse with some sort of see-saw effect, or could later be closed using braces).

He wasn't pleased to hear about my Crohn's diagnosis 6 months ago and grimaced when I showed him the pills that I have to take every day, he now plans to speak with my specialist asap in order to discuss medications and will let me know the outcome at our next appointment in 3 weeks. All that was left to do afterwards was have a 3D photograph taken, which he will work on and show me next time, and get a few Xrays taken.

All in all a pretty sobering appointment which left me feeling quite down for the rest of the day, but this morning i've perked up. These next few weeks are bound to be a bit of an emotional roller-coaster as the inevitable "what-am-I-doing?" thoughts crop up, but my motivations are still as strong as ever and cancel out the doubts pretty quickly. Hope I can maintain a cool head for as long as possible...

On Her Majesty's service

Things are finally hotting up around here!I had an adjustment yesterday in advance of the first pre-op meeting with my surgeon (taking place in 3 days time), Dr. H announced that he'd be taking x-rays and final records at our next session in 6 weeks, and would be writing to Mr. T in order to make plans for the surgery itself. Yippee! I'm so pleased that we're finally getting down to business! I also had hooky steel wires inserted on each side top and bottom, to which they attached another lighter wire, which seems to be doing the job I was expecting from elastics (I'll post a pic asap so this makes sense). It's proving tricky to get the floss under both sets of wires so my evening bathroom routine is now clocking in at over 20 minutes!

Whilst Dr. H's assistant was at work on my wires we were chatting (as much as you can when your mouth is full of someone else's fingers) about celebs who'd worn braces, and she mentioned that they sometimes had famous faces come through the door. I asked her to give me some names and she told me they'd done the braces for two of the royal family! My first thought on hearing this was 'no wonder you're so friggin' expensive', but I was still impressed. She also mentioned a rather dishy hollywood actor who brings his kids there - I'd better start hanging around the waiting room a bit more often!